Want to be more social? How to find your tribe!

Martin Canyon Creek Trail, Dublin

Five years ago, about six months after my son was born, I became desperate to find people to hang out with during the day. Being at home all day with a baby and having little other social contact was beginning to wear me down. My solution was to do what I normally do… search the internet for help. I quickly found and joined a local mothers club, but didn’t quite connect with the activities or any of the individuals within the group. So my search continued… until I found meetup.com, the answer to all my social problems.

If you aren’t familiar with the website, check it out now… www.meetup.com. Put in a search for activities that interest you (business networking, knitting, running, moms, photography, etc..) within a 5-30 mile radius of your home. Find anything interesting?

OK, at first it wasn’t all rosy. I joined groups that, again, I didn’t feel that I quite fit into. Again, the activities offered by the groups I joined weren’t what I thought they’d be. I wasn’t finding other moms who wanted to get out and walk or hike or take our kids outside to play.  And I wasn’t interested in what they were doing… moms nights out, book clubs, gourmet club, taking the kids to the local indoor play spot.  But then I had an epiphany. I could start my own group!  I could find my own kind… if I built it, I hoped others with similar interests would appear.

That’s when I started Striding Strong: The East Bay Hiking Group for Women. It’s morphed a bit in concept since I originally started the group. At first, it was primarily a walking group, with many of the members being mothers with young children in strollers, work-from-home ladies, and retired women. Today, the members are still similar… stay-at-home moms, work-from-home ladies, and retired women. But it’s expanded to include more… working women who join us for weekend events and sometimes college students. I wanted to create a group where all women could feel welcome to join, whether with children or without, employed or unemployed, married or unmarried. Today, the activities offered by the group have become more focused. We’re primarily a hiking group. I’ve experimented with walks and runs, but hiking seems to be what members are most attracted to. And I’ve limited our geographic range. Our hikes primarily take place in a select few cities in the San Francisco East Bay… Pleasanton, Dublin, San Ramon, and Danville. I started the group in August, four years ago, and am so happy with the friends I’ve made. After our beautiful hike this morning at the Pleasanton Ridge, I felt the need to write something about meetup and my group!

But since then, I’ve met so many other wonderful people through other groups I’ve joined and another group I started (Nature Time! The Bay Area Outdoor Playgroup). I love the social connections I’ve made for both myself and my son.  I treasure the connections I’ve made through other groups I’ve joined recently.  As my interests change and evolve, I go to meetup to look for others who share the same interests.  What a great resource!

P.S.  This isn’t just a U.S. thing… there are meetups throughout the world.  And, no, I’m not endorsed by meetup in any way.  I just wanted to share something I love!

29 Comments

  1. Paala says:

    I stumbled upon this post while looking for some random meet up some mom mentioned going on next week and voilà, your post came up. The link to the meet up group was super helpful. It is also nice to read another Bay Area mom’s blog. Mine is paa.la but is mostly about breastfeeding and birth.

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      Glad you found the blog (and Meetup), Paala! I look forward to reading yours!

      Like

  2. livesinstone says:

    Wow. This is really cool. Great post. 🙂

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  3. rumpydog says:

    Thank you SO MUCH for this post! OK, it’s been two weeks now since I moved, and I know I need to connect with others and build a support network, but how? I’m gonna go check out meetup!

    Like

    1. A Nature Mom says:

      Yay! Hope you find some good ones! If the first one doesn’t work out, keep trying. 🙂

      Like

  4. You’re doing it! Awesome!!!! Love this post, Love your site 🙂

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  5. mmtread says:

    This is absolutely wonderful, but, well, there was an awful lot of talk about moms, and women, and moms who are women. Don’t get me wrong, I love women. I even married one. But, you know, there are, uhm, men who also enjoy hiking and being outdoors and natural history and being a parent and hanging out with a bunch of chicks in the woods in a perfectly non-scary-West Virginia Appalachia way.
    Now, I live approximately a gazillion miles from the East Bay, give or take a few miles, so I obviously won’t be joining you for a walkabout any time soon. But if I did, would I be welcome, or would it be weird? Understand, this is not in any way a criticism, it’s just an exploration for me. Being an American work-at-home dad in Hungary is something I’ve never been before, so I’m feeling my way around a darkened room. Are there any men in these groups? If so, are they admired, pitied, avoided? I’m simply really curious.
    A really great post, by the way, in that it’s interesting but also truly useful for people. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      I didn’t go into my other meetup group in the post, though I mentioned it briefly (Nature Time). I purposely started that one to not be a “mom” group, but a family/kid-oriented one. We have quite a few stay-at-home dads in that group. I was just giving an example of how I got into meetup. And, yes, husbands and partners are totally welcome to join Striding Strong hikes. I’ve also invited dads to join us, but haven’t had any sign up. Just want it to be a comfortable environment for women, as a complaint I’ve heard about other hiking groups is that they can have a singles/ pick up feel to them.

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  6. Alex Jones says:

    You hit the best solution to anything where you cannot find what you are looking for – create it. I have found meetup.com to be useful too.

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      It’s more productive to create what you’re looking for than to complain about what you can’t find.

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  7. thirdeyemom says:

    What a great idea for a moms group! Hiking! I wish I lived there as I would be there! I know what you mean about the loneliness of being a stay at home mom with toug children. I often aearched for ways to interact with like minded people and now I have too many things I want to do but can’t. Great post!

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      Thanks! You’d fit right in with the women in our group. Wish you lived closer!

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  8. I checked out your meeetup groups (great idea!) and it looks like we live in the same area. I’m not much of a hiker but I’d love to get together with a fellow blogger for tea/chat. Email me @ juliehansenintuitive@yahoo.com if you are interested. Best-Julie

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      Sounds great! I’ve been thinking about starting a meetup group for bloggers in our area. What do you think??

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      1. Great idea! Count me in! 🙂

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  9. I swear by the groups!!! Meeting you has been one of the main highlights in my experience!! 🙂

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      Aw Lee Anne.. you’re at the heart of any group you join. Soooo glad to have met you through meetup!

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  10. Heather Day says:

    Thank you so much for starting Nature Time! I wish we could make it to more of the walks in your area, but it has been a great way to connect with other outdoors
    loving families here in Livermore!!!

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      You’re welcome, Heather. Thank you for hosting regular events in your area!! These groups seem to work best when members become involved like you have.

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  11. LuAnn says:

    I recently had a friend mention meetup.com to me. I will have to check it out. Thanks 🙂

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      I hope you find an interesting group!

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    1. A Nature Mom says:

      Yes, I included your post at the bottom of mine as a recommended link. Great article!

      Like

  12. Planting Potatoes says:

    awesome…….build it and they will come, right? 🙂

    Like

    1. A Nature Mom says:

      That’s my motto. 🙂

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